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praiabandida

here's what i have to say
a quick note on what i want to say
is something most likely not to be published
people borrow and take what is mine
and mine makes an impact to the group of the astound
without me being in the mine

i long to make that shock for which i cannot
the world seems to be absurd when
 they take whats mine
and leave me nothing
even the most diminutive reverence

the minitue that phony beings to
speaks of words i should have
i began to think
i who am weak on words
speaks his langauge of my actions

praiabandida

Real Friends are the people who, even though you haven't seen them for months days,weeks, or years, are the people who can blurt out anything and everything that happened for the last 15 days, 3 months, 4 years without missing any detail...

praiabandida

Today I don't understand anything that has been happenin. Pressures really boilin and I guess my Mum was right when she said "We all get beatten by the very thing tha makes us happy, until it reaches the point our point. " So far nothing/everything has been plain not because nothing has been happening but rather so much has been happening and I don't know where and when to start things. I'm completely devastated with the way things are 2 plays for each week, a not-sp good grades that I have to catch up, and random stuffs.

I am completely flushed and flustered.

The moment I told myself I better shape up was the moment when things are gonna be in Havoc.But this is how it is supposed to be HARD...

"I call out for your name in the seas and a shark eats me and brings me back to the shore."

praiabandida

Honestly, I don't really know how to start this confession.

I might be a lil streight forward with what I am going to say. Right at this very moment I still don't know how am I supposed to say the things that I have to say.

A few months ago, I kinda had something for this guy. I told him how I felt but then again it's not always a Joey and Dawson ending. Every indivual in this planet has their own love story to tell. And I guess mine is something that is something that a romantic person should not be interested in.

I think he was trying to give our friendship a chance and let it work out a bit but nothing more than that.  I ignored him. And until this very day, I cannot define what is that I am feeling until today. Sometimes I wished I could just go back and ignored the feeling that I felt. But then again, it was just crazy. That very day i saw him holding the hands of the girl that he loves and gave his heart too...I only had to things on my mind. He's happy. and Why not me? If comprhension is something that I should do...I'd rather not...It just makes me wish that someday like this and someday like that.

He has passed and I gotta move on.

Sometimes we wait and when we get to that moment it was a package that was not suppose to be for you. You opened it and then you found it so appealing that you treasured it and then someone from the post collects it because it was suppose to be for someone else.

Now that I don't know where he is, don't know what he is doing, and I don't know if he has forgotten that somewhere I dropped by to be with him when he got strucked down with his car in the middle of nowhere, and then left me...

This is my confession. A confession of which I know I am not complete without him. But he was taken away from me because I am complete and that someone else needed it more than I do. I just had to find what makes me complete, and I did. It's the fact that I love him so much that I don't need to be with him just so that It would make me aware that I am complete....Now it's a matter of him being happy more than what I am feeling now.

Now...what could his name be and where could he be found?

praiabandida

:Hindi ko xa pagbibigyan. I have given her all the chance that was available and now...tangina di ko xa pagbibigayn:

Yeah, I really am happy with the things that are going on right now. The only problem we have is the helper inside this house. Speaking of which, we don't really need one. I can cook same with my bro, I can clean the house and he would do the washing.  Not a big of a deal actually. We don't need anyone else in this house. Eversince Mum left for the proviince she has been treating us like "SHIT". The maid actually dosen't do anything but nothing. It's like we are paying people only to stay with us. And damn! She shouts at us, if not answers us back. I have a 16 year old brother who acts older than that Maid's age....It's like I have a 14 year old with me. I have problems at school and other areas of my life but I never ever bring those problems at home, I keep em to myself coz' I know nothing would do good when you take things seriously. Everything in this life passout....and I hope this maid will eventually get out of this house any time this week. When Mum's around she's been acting nice as if she really is NICE!?! She doesn't cook, She shouts at us, She spend some of the money and she has more social life than I have! The Hell?!!

She uses the fone more often, she makes faces when mum orders her to do something. I remember last time while I was doing my floorplan I asked her for money because we had to buy food for Chi Chi (our dog) she told me "Hayaan na yan!" Tangina! Tama bang sagutin ako ng ganun? Sino ba xa?! I have a brother, but my brother never answered me like that. And I don't give a shit if she and her boyfriend are having problems! I don't care! I asked her something properly...I think I deserve to get the proper answer.

I just don't get it. We never really treated her as someone different from us. I just don't understand why she treats us as if we did something really wrong!

That Slut is just gonna get it!